THINGS I’VE LOVED RECENTLY

BOOKS

Sky Daddy by Kate Folk

This brilliant, funny book, specifically about a woman attracted to airplanes but more broadly about the complications of connecting and the consequences of unconventional choice, upends the assumption that there is a right way to want, a right way to fuck, and a right way to live. What some may call “bizarre” I recognize as the only rational way to observe the bizarreness of what we’ve built around us, the only way to survive the turbulence of being alive with our own embodiment and mortality as our seat mates.

The Antidote by Karen Russel

Russel moves us like a laparoscope through layers of story -  a dust bowl epic, a queer love story, a mother’s trauma-soaked quest, a man’s negotiation with his own luck, magic, murder, and even a scarecrow’s crepuscular consciousness. All told through maybe the best writing I’ve ever read.

Liars by Sarah Manguso

An extraordinarily beautiful book about motherhood and marriage. Not subjects I typically gravitate towards, but this grabbed me. Manguso makes mundane monstrosity more riveting than even your twistiest thriller, while reading like poetry. I finished it in 48 hours.

Careless People by Sara Wynn Williams (audiobook)

It’s worse than you thought. And by that I mean this brave and propulsive whistleblower’s account of her time at a certain social media company tells a story far scarier than even those already biased against big tech and its gods might have suspected. Topics range from the kind of stomach-churning icks that unremarkable men somehow always find the imagination for, the casual-democracy-erosion-to-full-blown-demolition pipeline, and the general sinister silliness of deeply pathetic manbabies (and one ladybaby). Sara proves a snappy, savvy writer, and an excellent narrator. The fact that she’s endured the unimaginable and survived (see: shark attack and near-death childbirth), makes her uniquely positioned to tell the story of a company that started out as a misogynistic hotness ranking tool and accidentally and on-purpose put(s) the entire globe in jeopardy, and to help warn us that we, too, need to survive the unimaginable - stanch the bleeding from the shark attack of social media, cauterize the gut-ripping, hemmoraghing birth and unfettered growth of careless people.

MOVIES

Fantasmas

Julio Torres, known also for his impressions of colors (what a little scamp, that purple), crafts a fairytale not of the sanitized American Dream sort but rather in the classic “dance in shoes too small until your feet bleed” vein, complete with monsters and those brave, clever, and bold enough to defeat them and even, sometimes, comfort them. The dark subject matter - the cruelty and unfairness of the immigration system in America, a woman’s grief, a young person trying to dream in a world that does not grant the ease to do so - is told with a melodic whimsy that lifts the film into what seems an entirely new and novel register.

Women Talking

I was very late to the party with this one - the story of the repeated drugging and raping of women and girls in a small Mennonite community, the complicity of the men in protecting the perpetrators, and the organizing of the women to protect themselves by meeting and deciding whether to leave or stay and fight. It’s essentially watching a group of illiterate women who are not even allowed to know the words for their bodies or where those bodies are in space (they’ve never seen a map), form a government far more efficient and fair than any a man ever has. I was in a very, very dark place when I watched this with my husband, Gregory, and it was exactly what we needed to see exactly when we needed to see it. I was curious to know how much of the brilliance was the source material by Miriam Towes, or what was added by Sarah Polley, who wrote the screenplay and directed the film. While Towes’ book is extraordinary, it is Polley, and the cast, who elevate it to something much more. The performances possess a restraint and a ferocity that is shattering. It’s somehow a ballet and a play and a movie and some kind of new medium that’s not a ballet or a play or a movie. This was my second Stendhal moment this year (see below), and watching this felt neurochemically rearranging.

There’s a particularly moving scene where August, the man tasked with taking notes in the meetings, teaches Rooney Mara where they are on a map, that made me burst into tears. Knowing where your body is in space is the first step in being able to protect it. As someone with a dissociative disorder marked by a profound disorientation within and estrangement from both my body and the world in which that body exists, this resonated deeply.

A Nice Indian Boy

Rom Coms are hard. They are either not funny enough to be com, or too misogynistic to be Rom, or they are too lazy to construct a premise not reliant on a very basic misunderstanding that could have been resolved in the first five minutes if anyone simply communicated. This movie was very Com, very Rom, and the premise is not too lazy and not too outlandish. A reserved Indian doctor named Naveen (Karan Soni) falls for a charismatic white photographer (Jonathan Groff) who is the adopted son of now-deceased, Indian parents. We watch them fall in love and navigate Naveen’s family and culture, maneuvering amongst the bruise-inducing socio-familial architecture of entrenched expectations and deep-seated trauma.

Sunita Mani, who I’ve always loved (see: Glow and Save Yourselves!), plays Naveen’s sister, who is herself struggling with the burden of the unique expectations of gendered domesticity foisted on her. The brother-sister relationship is a moving and thoughtful addition, as they negotiate jealousy, the tethering and stinging elasticity of closeness, and what it means to share within a family - whether space, secrets, or support.

What’s also refreshing is the tenderness of the exploration of Naveen’s father’s homophobia. There’s a particularly moving scene where he cooks a meal with Naveen’s betrothed and reveals a scar from his father’s homophobic, dream-thwarting violence. It’s a movie that reminds us that it is every new generation’s job to dilute the inherited horrors of the heart until the blood it pumps runs clear and constant.

Mickey 17

The new film from “Parasite” director Bong Joon Ho is a fun, smart, if a bit-heavy-handed commentary on the current administration and the corrupting force of humanity, and contends with such examples of this as: immigration, xenophobia, racism, colonization, income inequality, and the exploitation, dehumanization, and brutality that goes along with all of the above. Robert Pattinson takes gleeful risks in his performance as two versions of himself, adopting a nasally little voice that made one person I know become totally sexually disenchanted with him. I like unvain actors (see also Charlize Theron and Patricia Arquette) and I like filmmakers who make bold choices.

Novocain

Like Rom Coms, action movies can be tough. I recently tried to wade through John Wick, which features about a teaspoonful of dialogue and approximately twenty four gallons of blood and brain matter. Listen, I love glugs of gore, but I get bored very easily. I want to see literal guts but I also want to see the figurative guts of the character. Novocain nails the ratio. It’s about a mild-mannered banker, played by the charismatic Jack Quaid (who I also enjoyed in the sex robot thriller Companion), who suffers from a disorder that makes him unable to experience physical pain. After falling in love with a colleague who is then taken hostage after a bank robbery, he goes on an epic journey to save her. The fight scenes are fantastic - imaginative, well-choreographed, and gross. It’s funny and Quaid’s character is sympathetic and engaging. So fun.

TV

Adolescence

The story of a twelve year old boy accused of murdering his female classmate, the insidiousness of the “manosphere,” and how it can invade and infect despite the (insufficient) bulwark of good intentions and best efforts. Essential viewing for anyone with a kid or anyone who is or knows a straight, cis, white dude with access to the internet. Powerful performances, and every episode is shot in one take, which is a fun feat to witness.

Dept Q

I love a british crime show (see also: Happy Valley starring Sarah Lancashire who can do no wrong, and Broadchurch, helmed by my two obsessions, David Tennant and Olivia Coleman). This is twisty, propulsive, tugs at the heartstrings, and has snappy dialogue. That’s a lot of ingredients to mix together and get right. I’ve always loved Matthew Goode, who you’ll no doubt recognize as Lady Mary’s race car driving second husband in Downton Abbey. I’m still not totally sure what Kelly McDonald’s character is doing in this, but I love her (See also: Rory O’Shea Was Here) and she’s lovely to look at.

LIVE THEATER

The Picture of Dorian Gray starring Sara Snook

This was another Stendhal moment for me (and for my friend, the writer Oliver Radclyffe, who accompanied me). I had full body chills the entire time. Snook plays all 20+ characters and narrates almost the entire book. It is a highly physical performance and a feat of endurance. There are few times I roar with laughter (like orgasm, very few people have actually gotten me there, and I’ve made sure to keep the ones who can or have done both around - shout out to Gregory) and the risks, some impressively un-vain, Snook takes in her comedy got me there. Watching a woman work, and work so well, for two hours straight was an extraordinary experience. And the gender play was incredibly hot.

Oh Mary! starring Cole Escola

It’s all the things you heard it was: funny and clever and bonkers. Escola’s performance is deranged, deeply dedicated, and has a truly unexpected and unexpectedly true depth. I could see the theater kid they were, and the joy and myopia that made this project possible. Of course there’s the lore of Escola resisting all knowledge of the source material and subject, but the emotional consistency and honesty of, and their commitment to, their character, is more truth than most art offers.